As a divorce ministry coach and First Lady, I get prayer requests all the time not only from my clients, church members and friends, but also from those who contact me via my website or social media. When I am asked to pray for someone, I ask them to be specific about what their desires are. Here are the top five prayer requests I receive from individuals faced with divorce.
- Pray for my emotional well being - With divorce comes a full range of emotions such as fear, anger, sadness, frustration, disgust, shame, envy, despair and even happiness. Triggers are everywhere and feelings can change rapidly without warning. Some individuals want to be seen as strong during this difficult time and don’t want to wear their emotions on their sleeve. Many are struggling not knowing how they are supposed to feel.
- Pray that the legal proceedings go smoothly – Concern about the legal proceedings is huge for some. Some couples are able to work out everything with their attorneys prior to going to court such as child custody, visitation, division of property, settlements, child support, alimony, liabilities, retirement and pension plans. Others are unable to work through the legal processes and as a result must go through several court hearings before the marriage is dissolved.
- Pray for my financial situation – Getting divorced involves huge financial costs. Costs may include moving expenses, legal expenses, reduced household income, and having to replace things lost in property settlements. Those who must pay child support worry about having enough money left to live on, while those receiving child support or alimony also worry about being able to maintain their standard of living.
- Pray for my spiritual wellbeing – Guilt and shame are often experienced by those going through divorce. Some people stay away from the church when going through, because they are embarrassed or concerned that they are being viewed as sinners. Churches are not always equipped to minister to individuals going through divorce. Many churches do not have divorce ministries and divorcees don’t know where they fit it. As a result they may shy away from church activities and are not getting the same opportunities to be fed Biblical knowledge.
- Pray for our children – Children are usually the silent sufferers of divorce and may blame themselves for the dissolution of the marriage. Children can be confused, may act out or get involved in new behaviors or suddenly change drastically. Statistics for children of divorce are not always positive so it is natural for parents to be concerned about their children.
- Pray that we don’t get divorced or that we reconcile – Last but not least there are those who do not want to go through divorce and want prayer to be reconciled with their spouse. The good news is, not everyone who begins the divorce proceedings actually end up divorced. With God’s help reconciliation is possible even after the divorce has been granted.
Hopefully you have already talked with your pastor or his wife and asked them to pray for you. If you do speak with your pastor, be specific about what your current needs are. If you are part of a large church and do not have access to your spiritual leader, pray and ask God for His guidance and discernment to send someone you can talk to. Most of all do not neglect your own prayer life and constantly approach the throne of grace to find help in your time of need. Do you have a prayer request?