Not all fathers are the same, but all fathers play a role in their children’s lives. There are many views on fathering, based on what you learned as a child or your most recent experiences as adult. Fathers are present or non-present, known or unknown, active or inactive in their children’s lives. Fathers are not perfect, but they can be effective and make the best of whatever situation they are in. Not all fathers are married to the mother of their children, but that does not mean that they cannot be highly involved in the lives of their children.
We learn so many things from our fathers. My own father was a strong provider. He made sure we had what we needed, and drilled into us the importance of doing well in school and going to college. For some reason he wanted all of us to be bankers because he thought at the time that there was money in finance and banking. Only one of us listened to the “major in banking” speech, my oldest sister majored in business and now works for a stock broker. The rest of us found our own way into the service profession like our mother.
My father was a private man and poor thing, he never had a son. Since he didn't have a son, his goal was to make sure all four of his daughters could take care of themselves. He didn’t quite know how to meet our emotional needs, however he did what he could. I don’t have a lot of memories sitting on daddy’s lap or doing butterfly kisses, but I do remember my dad going to work every day and bringing home a check to mom to make sure we were well cared for. I remember Dad reminding us frequently to open up a Christmas club account at the bank. My dad also taught us how to wisely spend the $15.00 allowance we received every two weeks. Wow, I can’t believe I survived as a kid off of $7. 50 a week.
Thanks Dad for doing the best you knew how with the example your father gave you. I never knew my grandfather, but from what I know he was one heck of a businessman. He owned and operated his own hotel, owned a cab company and a couple other businesses that brought in big bucks for his day and time. He even had a candy store in the lobby of his hotel and found other ways to make money. He was a builder and to this day my own father lives in the house that my grandfather built. They neighborhood edition was named after my grandfather and to this day is listed as the Emerson edition.
According to the Child Abuse and Neglect User Manual Series – The Importance of Fathers in the Healthy Development of Children, here are 7 ways that fathers can be effective in the lives of children:
To my own Dad, you are now officially world famous and everyone will know how handsome you are! Happy Father's Day.
Janice R Love, Author
First Lady, Mom, Stepmom and Divorce Ministry Coach