There were a group of women who did not get phone calls or texts. A card did not come in the mail and no one celebrated them at church. In fact, they didn’t even see the children they care so much about. Some spent the day alone feeling neglected and unloved. What women with children were not celebrated on Mother’s Day you ask? These are some of the women who have married a man with children and are now considered Stepmoms.
Did you know that Sunday, May 17th, the Sunday after Mother’s day has been deemed Stepmother’s Day? Wow, a day set aside just to celebrate women who have taken on the sometimes thankless job of being a stepmother. Did you know such a day existed? Hallmark doesn’t advertise it nor do stores and flower shops offer stepmother's day specials. It’s just the Sunday after Mother’s Day to most. I am thankful that I was appreciated by both my children an my stepchildren on Mother's Day, but not all stepmoms were so fortunate.
Here are 4 reasons Stepmother’s Day should be celebrated.
- Stepmoms function in a mothering role: Stepmoms cook, clean, help with homework and do all the things that moms do when their stepchildren are with them. I remember when we had weekend visitation, my workload doubled because there was more children to feed, clothes and towels to wash, and cleaning to do.
- Stepmoms are often ignored and neglected. Because children often have loyalty issues, they may be so protective of their mother’s feelings, they may unintentionally neglect the stepmom. Perhaps it bothers mom when the child speaks to the stepmom on the phone or gives her a hug. Perhaps the child feels like they have to choose. Public events are especially a challenge for the stepmom who doesn’t know where she fits in. There were times I felt invisible.
- Stepmoms are not evil. Unfortunately because of Cinderella, stepmoms have taken a bad rap. Most stepmoms are loving and kind and will do anything for their husband and his children. Even when they have been wronged they keep loving and forgiving.
- Stepmoms often sacrifice their own needs. Stepmoms share their time, space and resources. Noncustodial fathers are responsible for child support and sometimes alimony. A stepmom may put aside her own needs and desires because money has to go to the other household. Stepmoms cover bills and spend money to assist with stepchildren's needs, like providing health insurance and other needs often taken for granted.