What about the Samaritan woman at the well? In John 4:4-42 we learn that she had been divorced five times and was living with a man who wasn’t her husband. After meeting Jesus, this woman who was considered by many to be a sinner, was responsible for the salvation of a whole town. Just as this divorced woman's needs had gone unmet until she met Jesus, today’s churches must not forget that divorced women are members of the church with special needs that often go unmet. Women are sitting silently in the pews hoping to be ministered to where they are. Denise George wrote a book entitled “What Women Wish Pastors Knew” which helps churches to understand the hopes, hurts, needs, and dreams of women in the church. I decided to focus on divorced women and their needs. Here are 5 things, divorced women wish pastor’s knew.
- I am okay with being single. I have learned to be content in my new status and feel complete in Christ. I do not come to church because I am looking for a new husband. I come to church to worship and be ministered to. I understand that not everyone is called to be married.
- I still have the same gifts and talents I had before I got divorced. I recognize the gifts God gave me to use in his service. I can still teach Sunday school or lead a ministry. I want to feel like I am a part of the church ministry. I want to participate in ministries where I feel empowered to use my God given gifts. I want to be a blessing to others.
- I don’t know where I fit it in – While I was married I was included. Families are often recognized within the church. As a single person, I don’t feel comfortable hanging out with married couples any longer. The single ministry is not a good fit for me. I want to feel like I am a part of something. I want to participate in church activities but am seldom asked.
- I look nice for me. I am finally taking care of myself and am confident in who I am. I have changed my hair, my makeup or my wardrobe to celebrate the new me. My new self-confidence makes me more attractive, but I am not trying to draw attention to myself.
- I want to be ministered to as a single person. I often feel left out and don’t like feeling like a second class citizen. I would like to be encouraged through sermons and bible teaching. Think about me when you make a big deal about married couples and families. Remember I am a part of the church too.