Recently I picked up a local newspaper and glanced at the church section and found an article entitled: "Reasons Why Pastors Wives Often Feel Lonely." It was a copy of a Blog post written by Thom Rainer found on ThomRainer.com. I read articles all the time, but for some reason this one bothered me. I was saddened to learn that minister's wives are suffering from loneliness and depression.
Thom listed 14 reasons why pastor's wives feel lonely.
1. Superficial relationships in the church.
2. A busy pastor/husband.
3. Mean church members.
4. A conduit for complaints about her husband.
5. Broken confidences.
6. Frequent moves.
7. Viewed as a second class person.
8. Lack of support groups.
9. No date nights.
10. Complaints about children.
11. Husband does not give the wife priority.
12. Financial struggles.
For some reason this article bothered me enough to go on his site and comment. After going to Thom's site and reading more, I was even more saddened to learn there is a lack of resources for pastor's and their wives when they feel like they have no one else to talk to. I see this as a call to action for those of us who are thriving as pastor's wives and ministry couples. We much minister to those who are struggling.
When my husband and I launched our stepfamily ministry several years ago, we believed our calling was to only minister to blended families. We now find ourselves working with ministry couples who are not blended families but who need someone to talk to about the struggles of ministry and the effects on their marriages and family. Our ministry is now evolving to specifically be a resource for pastor's and wives to coach and counsel them on navigating through the many demands placed on them. We can't just stand by and allow ministry couples to struggle when they are a blessing to so many individuals, families and communities.
This Sunday take the time to encourage your pastor's wife and any other minister's wife you come in contact with. Send her a text or an encouraging card. Don't just wait for special occasions. You never know. You may be the one God has chosen to lift up her spirits. If nothing else, give her a hug for me!
Also check out our new Pastor's and Wives only page on our website: http://stepwithlove.org/pastors--wives-only.html
Janice R Love, Author
First Lady, Mom, Stepmom and Divorce Ministry Coach