Have you ever been accused of nagging too much?
Do you know anyone who nags all the time?
Dictionary.com defines nag as: to annoy or irritate (a person) with persistent fault finding or continuous urging.
Nagging according to the Urban Dictionary is: “A form of moaning: primarily used by women to complain about nearly anything and everything.” Sounds like a definition only a man could come up with.
Curiosity got the best of me and I decided to research what the Bible says about nagging. Believe it or not it mentions nagging or quarrelsome seven times. Four of the seven refer to a quarrelsome wife, so heads up ladies. Here are the four mentioned.
· Proverbs 21:9 and 25:24 (ESV) - It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.
· Proverbs 21:19 (ESV) - It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.
· Proverbs 27:15 (ESV) - A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike.;
Wow, nothing is mentioned about a quarrelsome or nagging husband, only the wife seems to be an issue. Either way, I’m sure I would be bothered by a nagging husband. These scriptures demonstrate that a man prefers peace even at the price of physical discomfort. It is suggested that a man would be better of living in the desert or on the corner of the roof rather than with a nagging woman. I had to laugh because my husband has a fear of heights and has gotten stuck on the roof twice trying to hang Christmas lights before I started bugging him about getting it done.
In expanding on these scriptures, Matthew Henry’s Bible Commentary states “what a great affliction it is to a man to have a brawling scolding woman as a wife, who upon every occasion, and often upon no occasion, breaks into a passion, and chides either him or those about her, is fretful to herself and furious to her children and servants, and, is both vexatious to her husband.
A nagging wife is even compared to an annoying drip. My husband has gotten out of the bed to stop a dripping faucet because it irritated him greatly. Early in our marriage as a stepfamily, I found myself asking him several times to tell his children something on my behalf. If I didn't think he was doing as I had asked, I would ask him again, with a little more high pitch in my voice. Even now he has mentioned that I don't ask one question, I rapidly fire them off. Uh oh, is he secretly accusing me of nagging? I better check that out.
So what’s the solution when we need to get information from our spouses or get some things done? You know, if they would just do what they are supposed to do, we wouldn’t have to complain right? The answer is as simple as communication 101 for couples. Learn to communicate in a positive, non-accusatory tone of voice and don’t forget your body language. Remember, it’s not necessarily what you say, it’s how you say it. If you
speak in a tone of voice that indicates quarreling or repeat the same question
over and over or ask questions in a condescending manner you may be accused of
nagging. Better go check the roof.
Janice R Love, Author
First Lady, Mom, Stepmom and Divorce Ministry Coach