Not long after my husband and I married, the church assigned me a wonderful parking space right next to his assigned space. They placed a lovely parking sign in front of it which read "First Lady". Just like my husband Pastor, I had my very own parking space at the church. The funniest thing happened when my stepdaughter read the sign for the first time. She immediately asked her dad why it read "First Lady" instead of "Second Lady". She kindly informed him that her biological mom was the first lady and I was the second. I laughed when I realized that the question was innocent and not intended to harm.
Truth is, our children and stepchildren will use whatever words and descriptions to try and explain what is going on in their lives when families are living-in-step. Yes, there are times when some words are intended to harm, but don't automatically assume you are being attacked. Don't take offense at every slightly uncomfortable statement. Look at the heart and pick your battles.
By the way, did you know that our Second Lady is the first second lady to hold a paying job while her husband is Vice-President of the United States?